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Postcard home...




So I got to thinking...in the shower...a nice long one, well under 20 mins, as that is the shower time it allows, the Council fitted last year...apparently I may come to harm from a long un! Not to worry eh...its Monday afternoon., and am taking this as a win!

Anyhoo...so first thing...there seems to be 2 things  I REALLY cannot square, one is SOME customers want allot of detail (which equals allot of time) for very little, and 2. I want to paint what I paint, what sizes they end up being, detail level, but time is business = making it impossible.....detail?/higher start price/large painting?     ...    lower detail/ low start price/smaller painting? WHATS your lane?

I WISH I had the answer! I'd LOVE to give away any work if I could pay the stuff I promise without.... for me, the money side is very brash, quite rude, a necessity... a thing that has to happen, however SOME take this to the enth, and don't pay.

Money is NOT something that makes me happy, it makes me worry less for the bills I need to pay, commitments I signed up to as a married mother, thats it....music and decent GENUINE people make me happy, and painting, thats it. I can fashion owt else! There is literally NOTHING, other than my specs so I can see properly, close up  (use a magnifier now constantly, but not long distance, thats sound!) that I absolutely NEED as a woman, nowt! I can fudge owt else!

So what next? I need to figure this conundrum, not that I haven't wrapped my mind around it so many times, I wonder why? But I cannot find an answer...fair for fair? or all for you, nowt for me? or all for me nowt for you? WHY is it this complicated? Why can't we all be fair with each other?

 I don't need £2.3 million quid for a large canvas of a blue stripe on a blue background...but equally I don't need gallery folk buying my stuff deliberately to sell at 5/6/10 times the price they bought from me.....that is NOT fair on you, a person who just wants genuine original art at a fair price! And gallery folk have their own adgendas/adding value with a frame/knowing folk they can charge more etc, and some must be nice people with fair intentions...but I am ONLY interested in folk that want original art from an artist, that is honestly just trying to be FAIR all round! It's just whats important to me, may cost me, but you have to stick to what your believe in don't you?

In other news a few years ago I had a womble that turned me off Facebook, no details, but it changed me as a person, big time, I don't have allot of trust, STILL HATE FACEBOOK with complete and utter passion,they were NO help!! 

I am only on my ART PAGES now (I do not look at my personal profile, add people, see the newsfeed/personal messages at all, I am not ignoring you....just not up for the idiots and todger pics) I am only on my pages because I love painting MORE than I hate Facebook.  ANYONE that has an ounce of sense of me will know this took allot to go back on there, and ONLY because me remaining as an artist is right now PROPER in the balance.

Today though I realised how far I have come, both in terms of getting over being taken for the idiot I am (usually my own fault cos I like people more that I give myself respect)  and as an artist...and today I WILL enjoy that time of feeling at peace with my world, I did all I can, gave all the chances, I can be as much as of a womble as anyone, but today is a good day of being thankful that I am way over what some caused, and what I inadvertently fashioned....feels like a new dawn, new thinking and FAR less of giving a monkeys, about situations, not people, and not what I do....even though that may be my downfall! Sometimes you just have to nail your colours to the mast in your heart and then just deal with what comes next...ktf xxx